Malume ™️ (@the_njabz) — Dad jokes specialist|| Twitter Pancake Specialist
No one over 21 believes in this nonsense, you’re a dumb ass if u do
08-07-2020 09:23
RT @LivEchoLFC: PFA Player of the Year 🏆 UEFA Player of the Year 🏆 UEFA Defender of the Year 🏆 Champions League 🏆 European Super Cup 🏆 FIFA…
08-07-2020 09:21
Ungaphuzi wedwa
07-07-2020 23:16
RT @SkySportsNews: The Football Association will support any player who wishes to take a stand against discrimination by taking a knee, ahe…
07-07-2020 23:08
A Netflix special about Fana Hlongwane would be the most epic shit ever. There’s no controversy in SA that doesn’t…
07-07-2020 22:24
@the_njabz I don’t make the rules
07-07-2020 21:41
RT @ThabangTweezus: Only 90s kids understand this 🤤
07-07-2020 21:26
RT @Magda_Wierzycka: Great precedent! Any insurer not honoring claims just because they sold products that they thought would never be used…
07-07-2020 18:01
Why you marching for white folk though 🧐👀
07-07-2020 17:40
07-07-2020 17:33
RT @YvesSaintLeeroy:
07-07-2020 17:30
Jeez he’s been tormenting Arsenal for years
07-07-2020 16:42
When u have nothing better to do. Spread fake news
07-07-2020 16:15
RT @hennievvuuren: Bosses at the trough: It’s a jobs massacre at Naspers today. But a week ago the corporation announced a R434 million ann…
07-07-2020 14:34
RT @KeKatli: If you know me in person and you see me lying on the TL please just STFU
07-07-2020 14:20
This definitely the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen
07-07-2020 13:41
RT @mokhobz12: This TL chat is all fun and games until the wrong person gets upset. Then it’s exposing corruption & fraud followed by docum…
07-07-2020 13:34
RT @chestermissing: Let's just remember that a company in the Eastern Cape charged R4800000 to tell 6400 people about COVID 19. That's R750…
07-07-2020 12:49
RT @AfricaFactsZone: Sudan has the most pyramids in the world (255). Egypt has 138 pyramids.
07-07-2020 11:39
@TheRedmenTV Why call him a Brazilian Fucker?
07-07-2020 11:33
@Ms_ViVaCi0us @Pale_Mat you remember such a scene when that girl rocked up to school in this bad boy
07-07-2020 11:27
RT @Tactical_Times: If this isn't spoken about it's because it's not a valid comparison. 30% of United's goals came in the League Cup (11%…
07-07-2020 01:10
RT @kay_mahapa: I stopped arguing with rich kids the day one IEB matriculant said "it's not my fault my parents were making money while you…
07-07-2020 00:45
@koketsomophutin That’s not the true story. Botswana implemented 14 day isolation for everyone entering the country…
06-07-2020 22:47
RT @hallaboutafrica: Congrats Mauritius: Africa's 1st High Income Country. World Bank makes classification official. Mauritius said it woul…
06-07-2020 21:40
RT @TheRedmenTV: Whoever did this an embarrassment to the club and the city. And also a massive, massive tit.
06-07-2020 21:35
@innomatijane @Ms_ViVaCi0us your favourite topic is back 😂😂😂
06-07-2020 19:28
@CulpritEnter Someone paid over $100m for this bad boy
06-07-2020 19:26
Dopest HIV awareness song ever.
06-07-2020 18:54
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RT @selenvacarter: Normalize keeping somebody’s name + business out of your mouth after y’all stop having ties.
06-07-2020 17:53
Owning a Lamborghini Urus must be like owning bitcoin 2 years ago right now. Second hand >R5m brand new it’s listed at R3,5m.
06-07-2020 16:49
RT @MaS1banda: Twitter has taught me not to ever spend 'frivolously'. I will buy a chicken, a wheelbarrow full of bricks, a bag of cement a…
06-07-2020 15:25
Only dudes that never notice anything are those busy cheating themselves 🤞🏾
06-07-2020 15:23
RT @thandozuma_: Just signed off an email ngathi “Regardless, Noluthando” 😭😭
06-07-2020 15:22
RT @S_Resego: Therapy and black parents 😭😭 Now they dishing up 3 pieces of meat for you “o je o kgore Palesa, oska re o depressed”
06-07-2020 13:57
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RT @GoldxHaze: this is still insane
06-07-2020 13:29
Chuck Taylor’s have become really expensive recently. Congrats
06-07-2020 13:07
@LFCZA Trent ball watching can’t blame Gomez he did what he had to
06-07-2020 13:02
@OriginalQuefela Higher grade woza woza
06-07-2020 12:29
This guy is gonna die before our eyes and we won’t be shocked because we expect it. We also won’t be shocked that t…
06-07-2020 12:26
This a facts only account
06-07-2020 12:19
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RT @CRY1NGWOLF: why he do dababy like that LMAOOO
06-07-2020 11:31
One of these is more costly than the other to own.
06-07-2020 10:52
RT @RediTlhabi: Hi need for pvt call on public issue..with no personal strings. It's less about not using his picture & more about…
06-07-2020 10:11
RT @StanleyHouseLFC: Man City must still be hungover from celebrating winning the 2nd Place Cup.
06-07-2020 04:47
If I don’t know you state your name and get to the point.
05-07-2020 20:59
RT @Magda_Wierzycka: Please let me draft a response. Dear UK - HSBC, Germany - SAP, US - McKinsey, Bain, Netherlands - KPMG, Switzerland -…
05-07-2020 20:28
RT @tumisole: Can’t imagine the difference this would make Mzansi’s rural areas
05-07-2020 20:15
@BiKeR626 1
05-07-2020 19:34
@nqobss1 @van_peeblez A lot
05-07-2020 18:44
RT @SkySportsPL: Liverpool are given a guard of honour by Aston Villa in their first game at Anfield since being crowned Premier League cha…
05-07-2020 18:39
RT @palesa_moloto: Verstappen: “I will not take the knee today...” F1 racetrack:
05-07-2020 18:00
@GOATeDigital 😂😂😂 hood living is something else.
05-07-2020 17:58
RT @blaxem: I really hope someone recorded the Teams/Zoom meeting that led to this work. Please just send us the link. We would all like to…
05-07-2020 17:31
Charles Leclerc next please
05-07-2020 16:31
@Max33Verstappen 🤣🤣🤣🤣 karma’s a bitch
05-07-2020 16:28
RT @Zuki_Lamani: At some point you need to realize that people will make it with or without you. Your negativity won’t stop anyone’s purpos…
05-07-2020 15:41
RT @Keith_a_Trip_: Jomo Sono would never.
05-07-2020 06:43
RT @NtandoNdabeni: Just as we were starting to come to terms with mama's passing, tata left us too this morning. Oh Corona Virus, what did…
04-07-2020 07:35
@GlennJgs @casinooasis14 @el_mansfield If English teams were that good how come they never dominated Europe like 70…
04-07-2020 07:29
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RT @ForeignMagnet: teller: so did you wanna deposit the whole $3? me: yo lower your fuckin voice
03-07-2020 19:41
Probably the most annoying thing about the week leading up to a funeral is mourners that want you to cry with them.…
03-07-2020 19:39
RT @lungeIo: unmuting your microphone just to say “thank you. bye everyone” ❤️
03-07-2020 17:16
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RT @thejulianbass: if y’all can retweet this enough times that Disney calls, that’d be greatly appreciated
03-07-2020 16:25
RT @VirgilvDijk:
03-07-2020 15:39
Because of Timo Werner I have trust issues regarding Liverpool transfer news.
03-07-2020 15:39
Mini Cooper S would be exciting on the cork screw, might end up on the barriers though
03-07-2020 15:34
Me in Grade 5 after another day of not getting my pen license when all my friends had theirs
03-07-2020 14:07
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RT @KylaWrightMedia: Update: the husband lost his job at Oakland University. Him and his wife have been charged with one count of felonious…
03-07-2020 13:50
RT @KeKatli: Bathong 15 million and then it breaks down.. I'd fly to Germany and go shout at the CEO 😂
03-07-2020 12:57
Didn’t the WC give up on testing <55 with no comobidities? That’s their solution to “building capacity”
03-07-2020 12:07
RT @mosensei: Ai buzz off
03-07-2020 11:48
Bottles App sending me an email calling me by my name like we cool like that
03-07-2020 11:45
After tears 🤞🏾
03-07-2020 11:28
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RT @RexChapman: People are absolutely insanely innovative and incredible...
03-07-2020 11:08
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RT @teelindsay_: So? I know a family that’s been doing it for 18 seasons.
03-07-2020 10:57
RT @Zero2Turbo: Update: It’s so beastly that the flatbed broke down 😂 6x6 all good and on its way to KZN...
03-07-2020 10:51
@NalediChirwa @LeighMathys You are shifting the blame for no reason. Why don’t government hospitals have more criticals bed?
03-07-2020 10:42
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RT @4WheelWorkOut: Read that first sentence again.
03-07-2020 10:13
@GeorgeMienie @AutoTraderSA @CliffCentralCom Nonsense just enforce the rules properly
03-07-2020 10:04
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RT @BenjaminPDixon: Bruh, if your waiter looks like this, that means you need to take your bourgeoisie ass home and learn to cook until thi…
03-07-2020 08:30
RT @Green_Greenly: How black moms defrost ibraai pack 😭
03-07-2020 08:22
I remember telling my mother I want to vote for the DA as a kid. My mother broke down in tears that’s “ungabavotela…
02-07-2020 14:03
RT @carynwelbys: My mom says she can still hear the people sobbing as they bulldozed their homes. And they didn’t even use the land. They b…
02-07-2020 14:00
RT @HermanMashaba: I will not apologise for trying to clean up the Jozi CBD. Once I come back as Mayor of Joburg we will intensify the rai…
02-07-2020 13:45
@Pale_Mat @Ms_ViVaCi0us Out of interest who won 🧐👀
02-07-2020 12:32
@CulpritEnter Vladimir is also called a dictator though, has been for years
02-07-2020 12:31
RT @AthiGeleba: tshini sigezelekile compatriots 😂
02-07-2020 12:25
RT @goal: The finish that sank Chelsea 💥
02-07-2020 11:46
@DeezyStark @WayneH__ These two are part of BRICs it’s gonna be very interesting how this pans out
02-07-2020 11:37
RT @ThreeUK: We hear that 'Three' is a magic number. #COYB
02-07-2020 11:25
RT @jennajameson: Watch this video concerning PornHub.
02-07-2020 11:12
02-07-2020 10:44
RT @Donny_sxn: Timo werner after watching chelsea today
02-07-2020 09:52
RT @premierleague: August ⚽️ September ⚽️ October ⚽️ November ⚽️ December ⚽️ January ⚽️ February ⚽️ March ⚽️ April ⚽️ May ⚽️ June ⚽️ July…
02-07-2020 09:41
@smalltalkdaily The Da you mean
01-07-2020 23:11
01-07-2020 22:36
RT @unclevibes_: SA gents let’s all log out and regroup we’ll try again tomorrow.
01-07-2020 22:28
@Ms_ViVaCi0us 😢😢😢
01-07-2020 21:02
01-07-2020 19:55
They made a career out of being professional karaoke singers 😩😩😩 every song was a cover
01-07-2020 18:32
RT @NorbertElekes: Says the country that is blocking access to Google, Wikipedia, Facebook and Twitter.
01-07-2020 18:23
RT @TembekaNgcukai1: History was made yesterday at the Supreme Court of Appeal when a judgment was delivered in isiXhosa and English. Inkun…
01-07-2020 18:22
RT @badgirlnuri: I am in pain 😭💔
01-07-2020 18:21
@jarharnamme @DTExpat @goal How was Minamino handled?
01-07-2020 18:09
@ESPNFC Football is back surely you have better things to post about now? 🤷🏾‍♂️
01-07-2020 18:05
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RT @TweetLikeShan: You gotta Submit yo lyrics on TurnItIn before you drop the EP
01-07-2020 16:53
01-07-2020 16:50
Really now 😂😂😂
01-07-2020 15:17
White peoples told us at school
01-07-2020 14:52
Plant, propert and Equipment
01-07-2020 13:09
Big facts. Put Pogba in the City team u have one hell of a player put KDB in the United team you have a ginger Stew…
01-07-2020 12:58
They called her “a new ANC branch”. Dudes ain’t shit
01-07-2020 12:54
RT @Football__Tweet: Cristiano Ronaldo is 35-years old. Lionel Messi is 33-years old. Tonight, Cristiano scored his 728th career goal wit…
01-07-2020 10:12
Straight facts
01-07-2020 10:11
RT @Enghumbhini: I know our media prides itself in holding government to account. Frankly they give the President a free pass. Anywhere in…
01-07-2020 10:10
RT @JoshDownie5: Ed woodward showing up to Dortmund to buy Sancho
01-07-2020 05:15
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RT @voniotres: Idk, im startin to think maybe yall dont really be living in these places cause nigga you not stopping me if i pay rent here…
30-06-2020 22:02
And now they’ll do it again for Ox 😩😩😩
30-06-2020 19:58
RT @Zero2Turbo: The new Bentley Bentayga has been uncovered! What do you think about the subtle changes up front and the fairly drastic on…
30-06-2020 19:56
@Motor_Magnet The rear looks more like the new Bentley’s 🔥🔥🔥
30-06-2020 19:42
This team would beat Arsenal easily
30-06-2020 17:36
Leeds United could do worse 🤔🧐
30-06-2020 17:36
😂😂😂 I don’t need R1m of KFC bro trust me
30-06-2020 16:42
RT @LynchStandard: CAF set to confirm that the Africa Cup of Nations scheduled for January/February 2021 will now take place in 2022. Boost…
30-06-2020 15:19
Are chefs supposed to be on TV? 🤔🧐
30-06-2020 13:57
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RT @gabzinoo: Sharing music on your story even tho no one cares >>>>>>>>>>>>
30-06-2020 13:37
Toyota doesn’t care 😂😂😂 90% of the cost of this car is the engine and the gearbox (under 200k) which hasn’t changed…
30-06-2020 11:46
Isqeqa was 20c
30-06-2020 11:20
Kiss was having a 1 many drinking session 😂😂😂
30-06-2020 10:59
RT @realtamiaworld: 25 years. 8 albums. 0 throat surgeries. ❤️🙌🏽
30-06-2020 10:45
“I'm a '88er, 9-6 to Reasonable Doubt Temper short, don't take much to squeeze you out Yeah you shinin' but the onl…
29-06-2020 23:15
We don’t believe you anymore
29-06-2020 23:02
This is one thing I wish I knew how to do 🤞🏾🤞🏾 but poverty has us sharing 1 roller skate each in the hood so we nev…
29-06-2020 22:51
29-06-2020 22:42
@Ms_ViVaCi0us She has her close cirlcle of videographers those people don’t have an incentive to talk. Everyone els…
29-06-2020 22:26
RT @VutisaniBamuza: @Anele ...
29-06-2020 22:21
@Ms_ViVaCi0us I doubt these people know that they were shooting for Beyoncé until they see it all with us. The NDA…
29-06-2020 22:15
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RT @apexpaola: My boyfriend was diagnosed with COVID 19 yesterday, I asked if he needed anything and he deadass asked for a booty pic to mo…
29-06-2020 21:35
29-06-2020 19:55
In a country with 80% black people white people still expect to dominate
29-06-2020 18:55
RT @iamkoshiek: Next year's iPhone might not include an iPhone
29-06-2020 16:47
29-06-2020 10:39
RT @zovuyomputablog: First you wanted lockdown. Then you didn't want lockdown. Then lockdown became flexi and you were living your best liv…
28-06-2020 16:25
RT @2uli: Sadly the ANC is being exposed for its health care failures during the years. How corruption became a norm and how it failed to d…
28-06-2020 14:56
RT @cikodealer: Samthandi
28-06-2020 13:49
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RT @q_withthewaves: When the smartest person in the class crying cus she got a 98 and you made a 47
28-06-2020 13:47
RT @osipuka: Until last week you did not know what SOWETO stands for at your big age and today you want to tell us which is the best Consti…
28-06-2020 13:05
💉💉💉 Arsenal and Chelsea to follow 🔥🔥🔥
28-06-2020 13:05
This dude must’ve started the fight 😂😂 no other explanation
28-06-2020 11:47
“It’s in your hands” is not working
28-06-2020 11:27
RT @Pops_Mdl: Can't believe SA is going to be that case study that had it together in the beginning then lost the plot 🥴
28-06-2020 11:12
Unang’shiyi 🤣🤣🤣🤣
28-06-2020 11:07
@GregJezzy @xothuggerxo @diegovonvacano @goal Nope
28-06-2020 05:31
RT @TheKopiteOFF: 🙌🏻| Virgil van Dijk since he signed for #LFC in December 2017: #️⃣ 115 games ✅ 82 wins ❌ 51 clean sheets ⚽️ 11 goals 🎯…
27-06-2020 23:40
A lot of people starting Whatsapp stockvels on my WhatsApp. People “make” money there but it requires the balls to…
27-06-2020 23:35
RT @sir_virgi69: Remember when y'all thought Pukki was going to be the highest goal scorer in EPL? Now take a minute and laugh at yourselv…
27-06-2020 23:10
Yas-ta-day. Iyaphoxa le chap
27-06-2020 22:39
RT @ToriNicksWho: Sampling is an important factor for Hip Hop as a culture.. it helps pass down classics to the new generation. one time I…
27-06-2020 22:37
Vegetarians need their own version of these shows, screw em Lol
27-06-2020 19:55
Use to use it to dash with Jack Danials. We called it “The Cold War” 😩😩😩
27-06-2020 19:51
The Cape Town white folk on come dine with me are living large 😩😩😩
27-06-2020 19:49
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RT @WhattUpJT:
27-06-2020 19:32
@Ms_ViVaCi0us Seems like an Android problem
27-06-2020 18:57
RT @msizimsizimsizi: Thread of people to rob: 👇🏽
27-06-2020 18:55
@TheRedmenTV City at home to Wolves and Sterling with his hands on his hips after losing the ball.
27-06-2020 15:18
RT @RexChapman: Let me introduce you to the guy who makes racist statues. The internet. Never lost. Never tied. Undefeated...…
27-06-2020 09:10
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RT @JHenderson:
27-06-2020 09:03
RT @TaintlessRed: Does anyone know who this lad is? Can we find him? This meme represented our suffering - hope there are some great pics o…
26-06-2020 22:39
Every time it gets cold my old muscle injuries flare up 😩😩😩
26-06-2020 19:31
26-06-2020 19:30
Ey 🔥🔥🔥 RIP man
26-06-2020 17:42
26-06-2020 17:41
RT @mikelino1_: @ESPNFC @ChelseaFC Lol... Mendy needs to be investigated like Hushpuppi. That error leading to goal is highly questionable😂
26-06-2020 17:35
RT @KloppStyle: Premier League trophies: Man United: 0 Liverpool: 1 The “Premier League” has only be called such since the name change in…
26-06-2020 17:11
Ayi ngeke even I as a Liverpool fan am tired now 😂😂😂
26-06-2020 17:08
@DeezyStark Awu Kaizer Chiefs pho
26-06-2020 17:06
@missbolani I want 1 too 😭😭😭
26-06-2020 17:04
Kanti how far were Liverpool ahead when Ferguson took over 🤔🧐
26-06-2020 16:57
@DeezyStark You under estimate peoples desire to avoid knowing their status. They would rather take funeral cover t…
26-06-2020 16:52
R20 for crowd favourite 😂😂😂
26-06-2020 16:31
@DeezyStark Not necessarily, they’re perfect for extended family and people that don’t like taking blood tests 😂😂😂
26-06-2020 16:28
26-06-2020 16:05
26-06-2020 16:02
RT @eNCA: eNCA's Dan Moyane celebrates his beloved Liverpool's English Premier league title win. #Liverpool #eNCA Courtesy #DStv403 https:/…
26-06-2020 15:36
RT @goal: The first Egyptian player to win the Premier League 🇪🇬 The first Senegalese player to win the Premier League 🇸🇳 Where would Liv…
26-06-2020 15:29
RT @Alissonbecker: Goood morning!! How are you feeling today??? 🤩🥇🏆
26-06-2020 15:14
RT @andrewrobertso5: Yes I am.
26-06-2020 15:14
RT @mxgesticmo: Coutinho: “I want to win trophies” Liverpool since coutinho left:
26-06-2020 13:31
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RT @ManCity: Congratulations to @LFC on winning the Premier League.
26-06-2020 13:30
@DeezyStark 🤤🤤🤤
26-06-2020 13:14
26-06-2020 12:36
“Since long ago” 😂😂😂
26-06-2020 11:46
RT @Nduey_Escobar: When your favourite song comes on and you say “that’s my song” ..that’s not your song either, you didn’t write nor recor…
26-06-2020 11:42
RT @Zizipho_ZA: On today’s episode of things that never happened:
26-06-2020 09:39
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RT @JHenderson: And now you’re gonna believe us...... ❤️
26-06-2020 04:06
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RT @TrollFootball: 2014: Chelsea beats Liverpool to help Man City win the title. 2015: Chelsea draws with Tottenham to help Leicester City…
26-06-2020 01:07
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RT @rafabenitezweb: Congratulations to @LFC, after 30 years, the dream comes true! Very happy for all the Reds! You'll never walk alone #YN…
26-06-2020 01:03
RT @ChampionsLeague: 🔴 Liverpool = 2019/20 Premier League champions 🏆 🥳 Congratulations, #UCL holders @LFC! 🎉
26-06-2020 01:01